You ever just think about who first slapped together peanut butter and chocolate? Part of me thinks whoever did it must be rolling in dough—like, seriously, Reese’s is basically built on that combo. But then another part of me wonders if it’s like that Chicken McNugget dude in The Wire. Just gets a nod from the top brass and then is shipped back to the fryer. No clue what really happened; fingers crossed it’s the former. Every so often, you run into an idea so genius, you’re like, how did no one else think of this? Every single time my crew and I hustled back to our time-warping dropship, dodging those pesky Time Reapers, I couldn’t help but think, “How did no one combo Overcooked with Gears of War before this?” Enter Pizza Bandit.
So, Pizza Bandit—what’s the deal? You play as Malik, a former bounty hunter turned wannabe chef. He’s pulled back to the old gig after getting hoodwinked out of his pizza place. Seriously, life, right? The writing’s all over the place, but in that good way. Like, I can’t be mad when Albert, my android weapon dude, says he’s bad at apologies because he’s a robot. Or when my pilot rambles on about missing fog. It’s all part of the bizarre charm setting the stage for Pizza Bandit’s antics.
Oh, and your crew? They’re not just any cluster of bounty hunters. Nope, you guys time-travel to get stuff done. Makes zero sense in my brain how it works, but pizza heals, bullets destroy, and these Time Reapers are real jerks blocking my dough flow. Not cool.
Now, what sets Pizza Bandit apart is you’re not just doing the shooty-shoot. There’s this whole Overcooked vibe happening. My team and I headed to this shady outpost called the Restaurant from Nowhere, fulfilling pizza orders for other bounty crews. You’ve gotta whip up the right pies, toss them into oven pods with some extra firepower in case these pesky Time Reapers show up. All while making sure we’re getting the drink orders right. Does it sound chaotic? You bet it is.
And speaking of chaos, let’s talk about these Time Reapers. They mean business, and your solution is just to unleash absolute mayhem. I’ve played plenty of builds and trust me, your weapon stash is up to snuff. It starts basic—rifles and grenades—but then you unlock wild stuff. Like a disco ball that lures enemies in to dance before boom! Or a turret that’s just chef’s kiss. You ever use a pizza slicer that’s man-sized? It’s a game-changer.
These Time Reapers aren’t playing around. Standard creepers that charge, creepy crawlers, Terminator wannabes that leap, giant hammer dudes, and fireball throwers who can ruin your day. You gotta stay on your toes.
This game shines brightest with a killer team. Calling out orders like “Pepperoni ready!” and “On the drinks!” amidst the chaos of gunfire makes it come alive. Choices like when to order extra supplies or block stairways with giant pizza boxes add layers to the madness.
Oh, and heads up, that’s just the first level. Pizza Bandit switches things up plenty. Like, you might be managing a sushi joint making sure you got the right stuff on the delivery table for folks. Or sometimes you’re not cooking but adventuring in booby-trapped tombs for some arcane artifact. You solve puzzles and explore while defending against mystical foes. It’s never enough to just snag your loot, you gotta make it back safely too.
And, just when you think you’ve seen it all, there’s this one level where you’re shacking up with a doc trying to invent time travel. All while keeping him fed and warm against reaper hordes. Ever defend a safe cracker laser drilling into a vault with a cookbook that can warp reality? Yeah, it’s as insane as it sounds. Or play chef Walter White in a chicken shack—minus the RV meth lab. It’s a ludicrous ride inspired by all sorts of pop culture, but always a blast.
Between the chaos, you’re back at the pizza joint, upgrading weapons or decking it out decor-wise. Use the ingredients you snag to bake for stat boosts. Fashion’s big here, too. Rocking a milk carton backpack is on my bucket list—even though I’m saving up for the cat one. Style, you know? Then, it’s right back to the time-bending grind. A bandit’s job never sleeps.
Honestly, sometimes, you don’t even know what you need until it’s staring you in the face. Didn’t hit me I wanted something like Pizza Bandit until I first dabbled with it at PAX a couple years back. Word spread like wildfire, and you gotta play to get how it clicks. Once you do, you’re like, give me more. Pizza heals, bullets destroy, and this game? Absolute dynamite. Fingers crossed Jofsoft nails it, because there’s a delicious slice of something special coming our way.
